Stop Interrupting! Unlock the Power of Mindful Listening

Last week's visit from the company's chairman was a powerful reminder of something important.

He visits us annually, and each visit is charged with excitement. There is always a sense of uncertainty, keeping me guessing about the outcomes of the inspections and discussions. Yet, amidst all the unpredictability, one aspect remains constant during each of his visits: He always takes the time to listen. He doesn't just hear us out; he listens mindfully, attentively and thoughtfully, like truly gracious leaders. He gives undivided attention to the speaker, regardless of position or status. He never interrupts.

Listening without interrupting is deeply ingrained in Thailand's gracious culture.

Marathon Meetings in Bangkok

A 5-hour meeting?

During my tenure at a corporate office in Bangkok, 4-hour meetings began to pop up in my Outlook calendar, prompting me to wonder what justified such lengthy discussions. It dawned on me during the first meeting when I was asked to present a project I was managing. As I started my presentation, I noticed everyone was engaged - no questions, no interruptions - despite my being one of the most junior executives in the meeting. I could have easily extended my presentation by 50 more slides and continued for another two hours without interruption. 

Allowing people to speak without interruption takes time, which explains why some of those meetings were exceptionally long.

But let's start at the very beginning - listening in school.

Silent Respect

In Thai schools, students are taught the art of listening from day one.

From their first day, students are immersed in a teacher-centred environment and learn that not interrupting is a way to show respect. Teachers are regarded as the ultimate authorities and the primary sources of knowledge. They lead the classroom by delivering lectures, while students are expected to listen quietly and attentively. Challenging the teacher is not just rude - it directly contradicts cultural norms. Students are taught to remain silent and respectful, demonstrating appreciation for the teacher's knowledge. Children learn early on that respecting others involves listening without interrupting.

Not interrupting when someone speaks is a crucial aspect of mindful listening, but there's more to it. 

Not Interrupting is Not Mindful Listening

Refraining from interrupting is just one component of mindful listening.

True mindful listening involves fully engaging with the speaker and understanding what they say. True Mindful Listening means actively engaging with and fully grasping the speaker's message. It demands that you are open to new ideas and ready to embrace diverse viewpoints.

To mindful listen, you need to: 

1. Silence your phone.

2. Clear your mind.

3. Focus on what the speaker is conveying.

4. Remain fully present and engaged in the conversation.

5. Refrain from forming judgments. 

6. Refrain from jumping to conclusions.

7. Absorb the speaker's emotions and perspectives.

8. Engage deeply with the narrative.

9. Keep eye contact.

10. Be mindful of your body language.

11. Remain patient. 

12. Refrain from interrupting.

If you consistently practice these 12 steps, you demonstrate respect for the speaker's voice and genuinely value them and their message

But why does mindful listening matter?

10 Powerful Reasons Mindful Listening Matters And Why You Should Do It

Our hotel dedicates quality time daily to listening to our guests' feedback and reviewing all online comments. Why?

Our commitment to actively and mindfully listening to our guests encourages us to critically and consistently evaluate our practices, standards, and policies, assessing their impact on the guest experience. This approach directly aligns with understanding our guests' needs, enabling us to deliver memorable experiences. And by responding to feedback, we communicate a crucial message: we deeply value our guests' perspectives and genuinely respect their opinions and suggestions.

Here are ten key points to follow, whether you're listening to guest feedback, team members, or anyone else:

1. Show appreciation to make the other feel valued.

2. Understand not only the words but also the emotions.

3. Decrease miscommunications and minimize misunderstandings.

4. Are able to reflect thoughtfully on what has been said.

5. Cultivate empathy, allowing you to relate to others better.

6. Make informed decisions through better understanding.

7. Develop patience. 

8. Respond meaningfully and with more precision.

9. Promote open communication.

10. Leverage your reputation as a good listener.

Practice these key points to master mindful listening and foster a gracious culture at home and in business. By truly listening, you boost well-being and create a space where everyone feels comfortable, encouraged, and safe to share their thoughts. Many people feel overlooked - they listen to others but find no one available when they need someone to listen to them. Or, they often feel that the listener doesn't care about what they have to say. Mindful listeners are rare. 

As a gracious leader, you will patiently listen when someone needs to talk, genuinely caring about what they have to say.

Only then will you be a mindful listener. 

About this Newsletter: "GRACIOUS NOTE" dives deep into the heart of Thai culture, providing regular insights into the realms of gracious hospitality, service excellence, and gracious leadership. This Newsletter invites you to explore the principles of gracious culture to enrich your personal and professional life.